Sick of being sick: Encouragement for moms in the thick of it

The new, red lunchbox sat on the counter open, washed but unused. Next to it, a backpack, discarded after a short parade around the house. We had high hopes for school this week, but then sickness hit. A cough, a runny nose, a spike in temperature – and it all slipped away.

One sick day, turned into a week, turned into two. We canceled fun plans with friends, missed a much-anticipated ministry team meeting and Sunday church, and reshuffled work responsibilities. 

I gave up on any spiritual (or otherwise) discipline and took to scrolling social media or binging comfort-TV while nursing my own cold. My mentality became to chalk it up as a lost week. Just cross it off the calendar and move on. 

Children get sick, usually quite often, and I am coming to accept that reality. Sick days (or weeks) are as much a part of childhood as they are of motherhood. 

But they add up to too many days to lose them all.  

Sickness in motherhood has been discouraging and draining in ways I have never before experienced, both physically and emotionally. I want to check out, or grit my teeth through it, but that doesn’t seem to be working. So what is the alternative?

Accepting these weeks as part of motherhood does not relinquish them as lost. 

His Presence in Loneliness 

COVID made the term “isolation” mainstream, but moms of young children have long understood this reality. When a child is sick, we often have to hunker down and wait it out.

I am so grateful for the ways friends have cared for our family in sickness — through texts, meals, prayers, and more. God often loves us through His people. But even still, extended time stuck inside the home can feel lonely and disconnected from community life. 

Yet, without our normal busy schedules and fully social calendars, we can experience God’s care to be real and present in our loneliness. He calls Himself closer than a brother [Proverbs 18:24], a friend to those in need, near to the weary and brokenhearted [Psalm 34:18]. 

Consider the promise that nothing can separate us from God’s love— not tribulation, distress, persecution, loss, threat of life, or danger [Romans 8:35]. This list is all encompassing; including threats both external and internal. Even our own feelings can’t separate us from the reality of God’s love.

So if He is as close as promises, even when our capacity is lowered and routines thrown off, we need reminders His love and presence down deep in our hearts. We can meditate on one verse, or even a phrase, and pray it throughout the day. In doing so, we will not be disappointed. The practice is a balm to our very souls, it becomes like breathing – consistent and life-sustaining. 

His Sovereignty in Loss of Control

Nothing exposes my idol of productivity like sickness in the home. I’ll accept a day – maybe two – of sickness, but once it lasts longer than I deem appropriate, I spiral quickly into despair. Part frustration at releasing my own plans for the week, and part anxiousness about what-ifs and worst-case illness scenarios, I am stung by my own loss of control. 

I can care for my family— wash our hands, stay well-fed, and do all the recommended things, but I can’t prevent every illness. I can make schedules, set goals, and be diligent with my time, but I can’t actually force the world around me into compliance. 

In these moments, I cling to Job 12:10, “In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.” 

During sick weeks, the Lord is gracious in reminding me that I don’t hold all things together, Christ does. I may nurture and love my child, but He alone is the sustainer of all living things. My abilities and knowledge are finite, but His are infinite. 

This is a humbling realization, but there is goodness in recognizing our limits. Only in humility, can we turn to the One who is truly in control and rest in His care. 

When my worries loom large, I need a tangible, physical example of my true smallness, and I often find it outside. In Luke 12, Jesus points us to creation, to the wildflowers and the sparrows, for the very purpose of calming our anxious souls. Why? Because we need the reminder that we are not God – and that’s a good thing. 

His Grace in Weakness

When sickness hits our home, my willpower to produce patience, grace, and kindness toward others evaporates pretty quickly. My fuse is short and I say things I regret. But what’s worse, if my family could read my thoughts, I would cower in shame. There is no fooling anyone—  including myself— that I desperately need Jesus. 

But isn’t that what’s so lovely about the gospel? When we stop trying to earn it— or are forced to admit we can’t— we actually get to feel the love of God. And here in my lowest, most embarrassing moments and failures, I experience a deeper understanding of grace. 

Let our physical weakness and spiritual neediness propel us to Christ without any of our normal pretenses.  “[B]ut God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 is no ordinary love – it is undeserved, but freely offered. 

Reminding ourselves of the gospel, and how much we need it, reframes how we care for those around us, even in— or particularly in—times of sickness and physical weariness. We draw from a love much deeper than our own, and lean on a power much greater than what we have to offer. 

By His Strength, for His Glory

There are no lost weeks in the Father’s hands. I have zero delusions that any of this is easy, simple or natural to us. But that may be exactly the point— to show us Jesus, and to experience His love afresh. 

So while tending to snotty noses, calming fussy hearts, and putting our own plans on hold, He is there. He comforts us in our deepest need, reminds us of His sovereignty in anxious moments and forms us to be more like Himself when we have the least to offer.